The Mortality Mirror

03.04.14 / Uncategorized / Author: admin

The Stats say that we have more chance of dying every time we get into a car than, for example, a plane.  But once you get a diagnosis of something like Cancer, the Mortality Mirror is suddenly right there, all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a Will in place for many years (I have a child to look after), but even though we know that cars are the quickest way to die, it isn’t foremost in our minds every time we get into one.  It’s more likely thoughts of what to get at the grocery store, or that you must get petrol, or ‘yay’ we are off to the beach for the weekend.  I’m sure other Cancer survivors will understand when I say that now, every niggle, ache, strange sensation, pain or twinge, now takes on a hyper inflated sense of worry and concern because of that darn Mortality Mirror.  We have had a disease that might come back.  It’s the monkey on your shoulder all the time.  It’s real.  And it’s scary.

I still have days every now and then when I have to remind myself that I’ve had Breast Cancer, and it kind of scares me that I can actually forget. But by the same token, I don’t want it to be top of mind all the time either.  It’s hard finding that balance of vigilance and being able to successfully get on with your life without fear paralysing you.

Mortality is something that is a certainty for us all.  However, I think the majority of us don’t spend everyday considering this and worrying about it.  We don’t often think we are invinsible but we also don’t expect our lives to be cut short.

So is the Mortality Mirror a blessing or a curse?

I guess, like many things, it’s how you decide use the information in your life.  Are you going to let it define you and rule your life, or are you going to use it to make you stronger and enhance your life?  Are you going to sit back and have the ‘why me’ pity party, or go out and live life with a party?

The Mortality Mirror is now going to be with me for the rest of my (very long) life, but I’m not going to let it control me.  I’ve already gazed into it and it doesn’t scare me.  I have my low moments, but I had this pre-Cancer diagnosis too and I got through them, so I will get through those future low moments the same way.  With love, and plans, and friends, and family and spirit.