Taking Control
31.12.13 / Uncategorized / Author: admin
On the day of my diagnosis, I was referred to a local surgeon and met with him the following week. He seemed nice and knew his stuff.
However, I had been fortunate (or unfortunate depending on how you look at it), to know of 4 people in my circle of friends who had all been through Breast Cancer in the past 2-3 years. I had arranged to speak with all of them within that first week, and one of them gave me a fabulous book called ‘Breast Cancer: Taking Control’ by John Boyages. I highly, highly, highly recommend this book. It is written for the layperson and gives you all the facts you might want or need in your journey. You don’t have to read it all, but just the chapters that are relevant, or if you are like me, you read it cover to cover! The information CAN be confronting, but I prefer to be armed with information. I take it IN, but don’t take it ON. My journey is my journey, and won’t be the same as anyone else’s.
One of the first things stated in the book is that, while a breast cancer diagnosis is horrible and confronting and scary, it is not a medical emergency and as such you do have some time to take control and make some decisions. Of course, we also don’t dawdle!
I decided I wanted to speak with another surgeon to see if I felt differently with them. This was arranged for a week after the first (which still fell within the 3 week window for surgery with the first surgeon).
Due to reading the book, I went armed to both surgeons’ consultations with knowledge and questions. I also made sure that I had someone else with me during the consultations as, with the best and strongest will in the world, this is YOU they are talking about, and you have BREAST CANCER. So your brain can turn to mush!
I also asked permission to record the conversation on my smart phone.
As a result of going in armed with information and questions, I felt I got a really good understanding of both surgeons, and one of them just gave me much more information and detail (without me asking), compared to the other. And I felt more comfortable with them too.
It also felt really good to be making this decision MYSELF. You don’t have to blindly follow what the Doctors say to you. This is YOUR life, YOUR body and YOUR decisions. Take control.
What sort of questions did I ask?
- What percentage of your surgery’s are breast?
- How often do you need to go back for further surgery (ie. Initial node check was a false-negative or margins were not clear around the lump)?
- Do you use subcutaneous (under the skin) sutures? (This gives less of a scar)
- What is the recovery time, both in hospital and at home?
- Will I have a drain?
- When will I get full results?
- How do you perform a mastectomy? (There are varies methods used by different surgeons)
- Do you also do breast reconstruction? If so, what method do you use?
I was not going to be led by the medical personnel involved in my journey. I would absolutely listen to what they had to say, and all of that information would become part of my decision making process. But you do have options and these are your decisions to make. Granted, when you are trying to process and come to terms with the fact that you have Cancer, and all the possible ramifications, it can be very hard to have a clear head.
Surround yourself with strong, supportive, loving people who can take on some of the small stuff (i.e. meals, cleaning, running kids to school and activities, etc), while you make your assessments of what needs to happen for YOU. For many people, asking for help is hard. I’m one of those people too. But this is really, really important. There’s a lot to assimilate and a number of different paths that can be taken, and you need to have a clear space in your mind to digest it all and come out the other side with the right plan for you AND your family.
Take Control.
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